From 'Lemekh' to 'Melekh': What Is the Ancient Jewish Method for Managing Emotions Instead of Running From Them?
How can a modern person move from “Lemekh” to “Melekh” - and live the principle of “the mind rules over the heart” according to Chassidic teachings (Chabad), so that the intellect (Chokhmah, Binah, Da’at) gives birth to genuine emotions of love and awe of God in a world full of confusion, temptation, and emotional turmoil?
1. The King and the “Lemekh” Within Each of Us
Chassidim say: “Melekh” (king) is an acronym for Mo’ach - Lev - Kaved (Brain - Heart - Liver). The healthy order of a person: first intellect, then emotion, and only then action and bodily desires. When this is the order - the person is a king, ruling over their life. When it is reversed, the heart runs ahead with emotions, the body demands gratification, and only afterwards the brain is dragged along to provide justifications - you get “Lev - Mo’ach - Kaved” = Lemekh.
This wordplay is not just a cute joke. It cracks open the inner battle of every human being: Who leads my life - brain or heart? Decision or impulse? Clarity or confusion?
2. “Know This Day and Take It to Your Heart” - From Head to Heart
The Torah itself gives us the direction: “And you shall know this day and take it to your heart that the Lord is God in the heavens above and on the earth below - there is nothing else” (Deuteronomy 4:39).
Two stages:
-
“And you shall know” - first comes knowledge. Understanding, learning, deepening.
-
“And take it to your heart” - don’t leave it at a cold intellectual level, but bring it down to the heart.
This is precisely the foundation of Chabad: Chokhmah, Binah, Da’at - the three intellectual faculties - are meant to give birth to the middot, the emotions. Not emotion leading without a head, but emotion born from genuine contemplation.
3. “The Mind Rules Over the Heart” - The Foundation of Tanya
The Alter Rebbe writes in the Tanya: “For the mind rules over the heart by its innate nature and constitution, for so was man created from birth, that every person can, through the will in his mind, restrain and rule over the spirit of desire in his heart” (Likutei Amarim, Chapter 12).
Two tremendous insights here:
-
“By its innate nature and constitution” - this is not a trick reserved for great tzaddikim alone. It is the nature of every person. God created humans in such a way that the mind is capable of ruling over the heart.
-
“Every person can” - it may not be easy, but it is possible. It is neither an illusion nor a nice slogan.
But note: the Tanya is not just talking about “not doing foolish things.” It speaks of something much deeper: that the intellect can direct life, give birth to entirely different emotions, until the heart itself desires different things.
4. How the Intellect Gives Birth to Emotion - Chokhmah, Binah, Da’at
To understand how one moves from dry understanding to living emotion, we must know the structure of Chabad:
-
Chokhmah (Wisdom) - a spark, a flash of insight. The “Aha!” moment.
-
Binah (Understanding) - breaking down the idea, understanding details, expanding, questioning, comparing one thing to another.
-
Da’at (Knowledge) - connecting to it. Taking what I understood and making it “this concerns me, this is my life.”
When a person:
-
Grasps some Divine truth (Chokhmah),
-
Digests it deeply, over and over (Binah),
-
Connects it to themselves, to their life, their pain, their questions (Da’at),
from here emotions are born. In Chassidut they explain that the middot - Chesed, Gevurah, Tiferet, etc. - are “children” of Chabad. This is not a nice metaphor - it is a method: Want love of God? Don’t look for “tricks to get excited.” Build Chabad, and the emotions will come.
5. Why in Our Generation It Is So Hard - But Also So Possible
A person in our times lives in a world where:
-
Everything is fast, instant, sweet-sharp, stimulating.
-
The phone pushes endless stimuli, emotions, fears, comparisons.
-
The head is tired, the heart is overwhelmed.
The entire culture tells us: “Go with what you feel.” If you don’t feel like it - don’t do it. If it suits you - go with the flow. This is exactly the state of “Lemekh”: the heart first, the brain explains after.
And here comes the message of Chabad: Precisely in such a generation, the work of the intellect is the only way to remain human and not be swept away.
6. Three Practical Steps From “Lemekh” to “Melekh”
A. Stop the Autopilot - Give the Brain a Moment to Breathe
Before every major move - there comes a very small moment: a moment in which it is possible to stop.
-
Someone hurt me - the autopilot says to explode.
-
I saw something pulling me to a bad place - the autopilot says “Come on, just one moment.”
-
I’m tired and frustrated - the autopilot says to escape into another pointless hour.
The transition from “Lemekh” to “Melekh” begins with one inner sentence: “Wait - who is deciding here - the heart or the brain?”
Even one second in which I don’t react immediately, but give the brain a chance to move ahead of the heart - that is the beginning of kingship.
And this is exactly what the Tanya says - that a person “can, through the will in his mind, restrain and rule over the spirit of desire in his heart.”
B. Set “Brain Time” Each Day - Chabad Contemplation
If the intellect needs to give birth to emotion, it needs quality time. Not just passing over words, but stopping and thinking.
For example, a short time each day (you can start with 5 minutes!) in which I take three steps:
- Chokhmah - I choose one point about God or my connection with Him:
-
That God gives me life every moment.
-
How He conducts personal providence over my life.
-
How there is truly nothing besides Him, as it is written: “And you shall know this day and take it to your heart that the Lord is God in the heavens above and on the earth below - there is nothing else.”
- Binah - I break it down:
-
What does it mean that “there is personal providence”? What examples have I seen in my life?
-
If there truly is nothing besides Him, how does that change what frightens me?
-
I try to actually picture this in my imagination, in everyday scenarios.
- Da’at - I connect it to myself:
-
Where does this meet my fears?
-
Where does this speak to my loneliness?
-
What does this say about the moments I felt I had no strength?
When you do this consistently, even without feeling “wow” every day, slowly new emotions are born in the heart: More trust, more love, more healthy awe, less panic.
C. Translate Emotion Into Action - “In Your Mouth and in Your Heart to Do It”
The Torah says: “For this matter is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart to do it” (Deuteronomy 30:14).
Chabad explains that the entire Tanya is built on this verse - to show how close the service of God truly is to us.
The order is:
-
In your mouth - speech.
-
In your heart - emotion.
-
To do it - action.
Meaning:
-
I contemplate - this opens emotion.
-
I let the emotion express itself - in speech, in simple prayer, in my own words.
-
And from there I translate it into one very small action.
For example:
-
I thought about God’s kindness toward me - so today I do one act of kindness for someone, even a small thing.
-
I thought about the fact that God sees me - so today I restrain myself once from going to a place I know is not right.
-
I thought about God being close - so today I say “Modeh Ani” a little more slowly, with intention.
This is the secret: don’t wait for a revolution, but connect intellect - emotion - action. This is where you become a king.
7. A Chassidic Story: One Moment of “Mind Rules Over the Heart”
It is told of a Chabad chassid, Rabbi Moshe Meizlish, who during the Napoleonic Wars served as an emissary of the Alter Rebbe to spy deep within enemy territory. One day Napoleon himself entered the room where Rabbi Moshe stood, suspected him of being a spy, and placed his hand on his heart to check if the heartbeat would reveal fear.
Rabbi Moshe, who was practiced in the work of “the mind rules over the heart,” controlled his heart to such a degree that it remained completely calm, and Napoleon released him. Afterwards, Rabbi Moshe recounted that the teaching the Rebbe had taught - that the mind must rule over the heart - had literally saved his life.
The message for us: We may not stand before Napoleon, but every day has its small “Napoleon”:
-
A temptation,
-
An insult,
-
A desire,
-
A moment when the heart runs wild.
And every time I have one moment in which I let the brain quiet the heart - I take a step from the status of “Lemekh” to the status of “Melekh.”
8. From “That’s Just Who I Am” to “For This Matter Is Very Close to You”
The most paralyzing thought in our generation is: “That’s just who I am, it’s my personality, there’s no way I can change.” The Torah says the exact opposite: “For this matter is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart to do it” (Deuteronomy 30:14).
And Chabad Chassidut adds: This closeness is expressed in the fact that you have a mind that can rule over the heart, and you have the power of contemplation that can change not only your actions, but what you feel.
So what is the path from “Lemekh” to “Melekh” for a person of our times?
-
Believe that God created me with this ability - it is not a dream, it is “innate nature and constitution.”
-
Give the brain its place - time each day in which I think, contemplate, connect with Da’at.
-
Let the heart respond - don’t fear emotion, but give birth to it from intellect.
-
Translate everything into one small step of action - another mitzvah with vitality, another word of heartfelt prayer, another minute of overcoming.
And when a person lives this way, even with ups and downs, something inside begins to align: The brain settles on the throne, the heart leans upon it, and the liver - all bodily action - falls into its proper role. Slowly they stop being a “Lemekh” who reacts from the gut, and begin to be a “Melekh” - one whose intellect leads them toward God, step by step.
And the beautiful thing is, the more one is a king over oneself - the more one feels like a child of the King, more connected to the King of Kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.